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leskuhTitle: The Jungle Movie First Attempt (Part 1)
Fandom/Universe: Hey Arnold!
Character(s): Helga, Arnold, Gerald
Rating: K+
Notes: Don't click until you read the note below!
MY MOVIE
the way i believe the second movie should be
song-here i am
- starts out in the neighborhood and then cuts to the park as the screen moves up a hill the wind parts the grass. Arnold steps into view. he looks around and then he goes down the hill to play baseball with his friends. They have a fun day: playing catch, jolly olly man, swimming. Day turns to night Arnold is laying on his bed he is wide awake, he reaches underneath his bed and pulls out his dads journal. He just sits there for a while, looking at it. then he pulls out a backpack from under his bed. he slings it over his shoulder and then heads out the fire escape. Gerald is at the bottom. he reaches Gerald, they look at each other and then turn to go. They walk until you can’t see them anymore, then the screen fades to black.
~scene begins again with Arnold and Gerald on their way to the airport~
g- come on Arnold we got to get to the airport! We are going to miss our flight to Africa. don’t worry i got all the gadgets we’ll need from Brigitte
a- I'm coming Gerald, oh and i have to make a stop before we get there
g- I thought you already went
a- not that kind of stop
g- oh, well then where?
a- at Helga’s
g- Helga’s?! why would we stop there?
a- to ask her to come with us
g- and we’re going to ask her this why?
a- because she was with us on our last adventure, she helped us a lot and i guess we owe it to her to invite her along with us on this one too
g- whatever you say Arnold
they reach Helga’s
a- her light isn’t on
g- she’s probably sleeping like any other normal person would be at this hour.
a- well then we’ll have to wake her up
g- 2 questions.How will we wake her and do you really want her to sick vengeance on us?
a- uh... first we’ll throw these stones at her window and I don’t think she’ll get mad, in fact i bet she’ll come with us.*under his breath he adds: well probably not but who knows*
g- ok fine, but if she does get angry it was all your idea
they throw stones at her window until she wakes up.
h- (opens her window) what in the name of Cripe’s sake is going on out here.(looks at them)Arnold! what the heck are you doing, football head? It’s one o’clock in the morning! Normal people are trying to sleep!
a- we wanted to ask you to come with us
h- (crosses her arms) with us to where, exactly, football head?
a- to Africa to help look for my parents
h- o ok(weird look on her face, a lost look) I'll come, i just have to get dressed and do a few things first
she turns and heads to her shrine of Arnold
h- i can’t believe he asked me to come along. maybe this is my chance to get him to like me like me. i feel bad about his parents though, what if we don’t find them? it’s going to be hard to find them, but i will help as much as I can and i will protect them from any danger. we will all come home together. I better get going, I have a lot to do.
she writes a note to Bob and Miriam:
mom and dad,
when u read this i will not be here, i cant tell u where i am going but don't worry i will be safe. i wont be alone. it wasn't anything u did it is just to help a friend i am sorry if you become upset but i got to go.please try and understand.
love Helga
p.s. I'll be back :)
h- hm...now what to bring...how about....no, no, no...well we might need some money...I’ve got $103.45...and if the police begin to look for us...then we should bring a few well chosen outfits...ah yes these will do nicely...oh yes and we may need a first aid kit...and a few other necessities...and we’re done!
packs all of her stuff and then climbs onto the tree outside of her window.
h- ouch oof!ow...
a- are you ok?
h- yeah I'm fine football head
they get to the airport
h- here take these(Helga hands them the costumes.)
a- what for?
h- now isn’t the time for questions just go change into them
g- i would like some kind of explanation
h- just do it tall hair boy
Gerald looks at Arnold, who nods
g- fine Helga, but i better not look like an idiot
They all go into the bathrooms and change,
in the bathroom with Helga, she pulls out her locket
h- This is it...your last chance to get Arnold to like you...you can’t be mean and you cannot lie...it is time to tell him the truth...I can do this...no i can’t...yes...no...yes...you have to or it’s all over but the crying...if you don’t then Arnold will like Lila forever and he won’t like you...last chance Helga old girl...last chance.......
Helga comes out first, she is wearing a long red dress with her hair pulled back in a bun, Arnold is wearing a tuxedo with a little bowler hat a beard and a mustache, Gerald is wearing a chauffeur outfit .
g- I look like an idiot. Why are we wearing these?
h- because when we are reported missing, the cops will be looking for three kids not three adults.
g- well why do i have to be the waiter?
h- you drive the limo, moron
g- oh....
h- I'm surrounded
a- um..what exactly are we supposed to be posing as
h- rich people you ding bats!
a- Helga if you want to come along then you have to try and be nice, ok?
h- fine I'll try football h- (Arnold looks at her)...I mean Arnold
a- thank you
h- now listen up we’re rich, well at least me and Arnold are because we’re married and Gerald you’re our chauffeur
g- how comes i don’t get to be rich
h- because i said so now let’s go!
they go up to get their tickets
(air = airport guy)
air- heh... nice outfits kids
h- what do you mean kids? We are rich bureaucrats!
air- heh...yeah and I’m Mary, Queen of Scots
h- grrr...just give me the tickets!
they get their tickets and board on the plane.
h- we made it, thanks to my brilliant costumes of course(she takes the seat behind Arnold and Gerald, then sits back and turns her head phones on)
g- oh man! i can’t believe I let you talk me into bringing Helga G. Pataki along, this is going to be a nightmare
a- oh come on Gerald she isn’t that bad and she is trying to be nice
g- she doesn’t know the meaning of the word nice
a-*sigh
Arnold looks out his window as his eyes begin to droop.Arnold falls asleep and when he does he dreams
song- I will always return
*a dream*
he sees himself flying all the way to Africa. He sees his parents he runs to his mom. They spend the day together: go swimming, fishing, they meet up with Arnold’s friends and play baseball. Arnold hits the ball out of the park. They won the game. His dad lifts him up on his shoulders they are waving and cheering, everything is perfect but then everything begins to tilt. someone is shaking him.
h- (Helga gently nudges Arnold to wake him up.) Arnold, Arnold...come on football head we’re almost there, wake up!
a-(“it’s to you I will always...always return”- he sees Helga’s face above him) huh? we are? oh ok i am up(yawns)
they land and leave the airport
h- now where do we go?
Arnold pulls out the journal and points out where they have to head first.
a- we go north from here
g- ok lets go!
h- not so fast, first we have to change into these(she hands them new costumes)
a&g- *groan
they head into bathrooms and change: all of them wearing the spy outfits from the one commercial on nick.
g- now can we go?
h- yup
a- to the jungle!
They grab their packs and head for the jungle.they begin their search.
song- you cant take me
they are in the jungle they begin to head out. they begin to run. Arnold stops and points. It begins to rain. They keep going. Helga points back in the direction from which they came signaling that she thinks that they should head back Arnold shakes his head and so they keep going. the sky clears they search high and they search low. Helga walks into a spiders web and the spider lands on her she screams and throws it onto Gerald he freaks out too. Arnold watches, he doesn’t realize that there is a big hairy rodent crawling up his leg, he feels it he grabs it out, sees what it is and then throws it in the air Helga screams and runs the other way she is closely followed by Arnold and Gerald
they come to a clearing
g- let’s make camp here
h&a- ok
h- (sarcastically) finally out of the jungle with all the bugs and giant rodents and into a clearing with bugs and giant rodents, oh well(shrugs because she sees Arnold looking at her) i guess we can’t have everything.
a- (whispers to Gerald) see she is trying
g- whatever you say Arnold
a- we better set up the tent
h- I’ll do it, I’m good with these things
g- we’ll all set it up
h- i don’t need help from you losers
a- (looks at her)
h- oops sorry it slipped out
a-*sighs*
h- hey i am trying as hard as i can
a- let’s all set up the tent together
h- ok fine
they set up the tent,
g- here take these, i bought them after our last two camping outings.(Gerald pulls out three small boxes from his pack)
a- what are they?
g- self inflating mattresses
a- Gerald have I ever told you that you were a genius
g- well of course i am
a- wait but why did you bring three? You didn’t know that I was going to invite Helga
g- oh, i have my ways
h- right
g- actually, i brought three because my mom bought two others, one for each child, i thought we might need an extra in case one got a hole in it
so Gerald took the mattresses out of their boxes and let them inflate
a- ok now that our sleeping area is arranged, I will attempt to start a fire, while you guys go and gather wood
h- aye aye skipper
g- shall we go my lady
h- yeah whatever
Gerald and Helga head off into the woods together.
h- i think i should have stayed back at the camp too
g- why? Arnold can handle himself
h- oh yeah, like he handled himself when you guys attempted to save the neighborhood
g- hey we did it didn’t we?
h- you would have been lost without my help
g- what help? You didn’t do anything really
h- i did more than you think Geraldo
g- fine whatever, look there’s a big pile of wood, why don’t we take some of that
h- fine, anything to get out of these woods
g- why do you always have to complain so much?
h- i don’t know, why don’t you just leave me alone?
g- fine
they gather up some wood, and head back to the clearing without saying a word to each other.
they stay up for a while talking and laughing.
a- hey guys its been fun but it’s getting late and we want to wake up as early as possible tomorrow so maybe we should go to sleep
g- good idea
h- good thinking foot- Arnold!
Gerald glances at Arnold.
It’s 12:30 am before they finally go to bed.
Helga and Gerald fall asleep right away, but Arnold stays awake for a long time and gazes at the stars. He gets out of his sleeping bag and goes to the fire, takes a seat on a log, picks up a stick and pokes at the fire with it.
when he got up he woke Helga, she gets up and takes a seat beside him.
A- sorry i woke you.
H- oh that’s all right.... Arnold are you ok?
A- yeah I'm fine i guess,uh... Helga can i ask you something?
H- i suppose
A- why did u come with Gerald and me, when i asked i was sure that you would say no.
H- i guess because....oh i dunno maybe i thought that you needed me here and besides its not a real adventure unless Helga G. Pataki is there
A- yeah sure
she punches his arm in a teasing way
H- what's that supposed to mean?
A- oh nothing.....Helga can i ask u something else?
H- what?
A- you know when you said that you loved me when we were on the roof, well i was just wondering...
H- Arnold ask me anything else but not that, I can’t
A- o ok then, well then I have one last question
H- what is it?
A- your being so nice now but you are so mean back at school, why do u act like that?
H- because i am mean
A- no your not, come on you can trust me, please tell me
H- listen Arnold i don't want to talk about it
A- why not?
H- because i just don't ok?!
A- o ok
silence for a couple seconds....
H- (whispers) it’s because of you
A-Me?!?! What did i do?
H- you were nice to me
A- oh yeah and if someone just happened to be nice to me, of course i would hate them!
H- please don't yell
A- well then make some sense Helga!
H- ok fine. let me think. oh yes now i remember....(flashback scene) it was the first day of preschool and of course Big Bob and Miriam were fussing over Olga. Well it was time to go to preschool so i tried to get their attention....It didn’t work, so i just left because no one would drive me.it was raining and a dog came up beside me and stole my lunch box. it was so cold and wet and when I got there I was almost in tears, when suddenly a little boy with a little hat and a funny shaped head opens an umbrella over me and then he says “i like your bow.”
A- you mean me
H- (nods) yeah you! and after you did that i-i-i k-kinda sorta....
A-what?
H- well i, you see i, i got this crush on you because you were the very first and actually only person to be nice to me, i thought you were amazing. i was so in love with you, you were perfect in my eyes. It was so wonderful....
A- this still doesn’t explain why you’re always so mean, Helga.
H- i-i know but it will in a minute....(continue flashback) that same day i spent all my snack time staring at you. after a bit i got a little hungry so i decided to eat one of my crackers, when i reached down to pick up a cracker, there were none there. I looked beside me, Harold had stolen them, and then he ate them right in front of me. I almost began to cry. but then you came up and said “want mine.” I nodded and you gave them to me. i suppose i looked at you in this gaga way because Harold did it too and then everyone started to laugh and make fun of me. I glanced over at you one last time and knew i wasn't strong enough to go on with kids making fun of me everyday. so i said my silent farewells and then pushed Harold off of the bench.
A- wow
H- yeah wow. I'm sorry Arnold but i just couldn’t do it nobody noticed me at home i didn’t want to be the outcast with other kids too. i couldn’t take it, I'm so sorry
and with that Helga throws her arms around Arnold's neck and cries and cries as the scene fades to black
the next day
they head out again. after a little, they notice smoke coming out of a little log cabin.
g- look at that cabin
a- i bet my parents are in there!
He starts to run to it but Gerald and Helga hold him back.
h- Arnold wait!
a- what’s wrong?
g- i don't like this place, Arnold
a- what are you talking about?
h- i don’t trust it
a- huh?
g- doesn’t it seem a little strange to you, i mean if your parents built this they must have had to contact someone
h- yeah and why would they build it in the first place? i mean we’re still pretty close to town. they could have just hiked back there and called your grandparents and told them what happened then they would’ve come back to see you
a- you guys are crazy, well i guess that some of that does make sense, but i still think that...
g- Arnold just listen to us
a- ok fine we’ll wait and see who comes out of there
h- thank you
they wait behind the bushes all day long(play cards, pace, ping-pong, journal, marbles, lie around and do nothing) and then they fall asleep.
its midnight
Gerald wakes up when he hears a door slam,
g- (looks up) huh? (rubs his eyes) what was that? it sounded like a door slamming shut
he shakes Arnold awake.
g- Arnold! Arnold! wake up i heard a door slam, they must be coming out
a- really? here hand me those binoculars and then wake Helga
g- here you go(hands Arnold the binoculars)
a- thanks now wake Helga
g- easier said then done
Gerald begins to shake Helga
g- Helga! Helga! wake up!
Helga has some difficulties
h- just 5 more minutes mom
g&a- HELGA!!!!
h- (sits up)huh? oh yeah I'm awake
a- we will be able to see better from those bushes
g- first let’s make sure that we have everything packed away
h- don’t worry, i was the last one to fall asleep o i made sure that we had everything
g- ok then let’s go
they get up, crawl to the bushes and look out. Arnold is looking for them with the binoculars
h- um... Arnold it’s kind of dark can you even see anything
a- can i even see any thing, can i even see anything, well actually i can’t
h&g- *sigh*
a- oh come on i was just having some fun with you
h- great
g- hey you guys look over here
they see some guys leaving the house they are all dressed in suits and holding baseball bats
bad guys:
1- you guys got your bats
2- yep Ethan will pay up tonight and if he doesn’t, the boss man says that we get to beat his brains out.
all of them- *heh heh heh*
3-why don't we just drop him off somewhere in the middle of the jungle, just like that married couple that came through 7 years ago.
from back in the underbrush
A- that's when my parents came here! do you think that they’re talking about them?
G&H- sh!!!!!
A- (whispers) oh, yeah, sorry
1- hey did u guys here something?
2- nope
4-you must be losing your mind
5- yeah
3- i thought i heard something too
4-you’ve lost it too
1- o ok whatever then, now what were we talking about oh yes, dropping them off all alone.... well we couldn’t do that because only the boss man can order that and that was only that one time
5- yeah! they shouldn’t have come snooping around here
4- they didn't mean to, i mean their plane crashed they just wanted help
5- yeah well wasn't it funny when the boss man told them he would be glad to escort them personally and then(breaks up with laughter) drops them off the plane with only a parachute to their name and (more laughter) only one parachute at that, and no one knows where he dropped them off because he was the only one on the plane besides them and the only way to find out is from the map, which is well hidden in the vault behind the duck painting in the hall.
all- (hysterical laughing)
back in the brush
Arnold’s hands are bunched up into fists and he looks furious, both Gerald and Helga look at each other and then him hoping he wont blow it and the bad guys wont find them.
all of a sudden a two darkened figures step out of the cabin, all of the laughter stops suddenly.
boss man- we’re going i left Jack and Wally in charge
1- you sure that’s a good idea boss man
bm- (evil look on face) why wouldn't it be?
1- (quieter this time) well they aren't exactly the bravest or strongest or fastest or smartest or even well abled to do anything
bm- we wont be gone longer than 30 minutes, they’ll be fine
1- ok boss man whatever you say i mean that’s why you’re the boss man
bm- glad you see it my way, now get in the car and go.
all- right away boss man
they get in, the boss man turns to the person who came out with him
bm- I can’t believed you hired these idiots Q. I really expected better of you
Q- sorry boss man
bm- you should be. Now get in the car
Q- of course
they both get in and then they leave. Arnold, Gerald and Helga come out from the bushes.
h- now what?
a- working on it.(rubs his temples and then after a few seconds...) ah ha, got it! Helga you’ve got your slingshot right?
h- yeah
a- and you know judo
h- yeah, so
a- good and Gerald you have the lock picks that Brigitte gave you right
g- yup
a- and i am the fastest, well second fastest runner in the class, stinky’s the fastest
h- could you give it to us in plain English
a- ok here’s the plan, i am the bait, I'll create a diversion and have them chase me, while they are chasing me Gerald you sneak in and find the vault and then you pick the lock, Helga you have to watch out for me and Gerald if it seems like one of us is in trouble you have to come and help. you know like pull some judo moves on them or something
g- ok
h- gotcha
a- and then when Gerald gets the map, Gerald will come out and we’ll all bind and gag these Wally and Jack fellows
h- i got the rope right here
they put the plan into action. Arnold runs out
a- hey look at me! bet you can’t catch me
w- hey Jack uh... shouldn’t we stop him
j- hey, who’s the boss when the boss man ain’t here
w- ain’t it Q
j- ok fine! who’s the boss when everybody except you and me are gone
w- uh...you?
j- that’s right, so as the boss i say: get that kid!
w- right away boss
and then Jack and Wally chase him, Arnold leads them away from the front door
back in the brush
h- ok Geraldo...GO!
Gerald darts inside the building, back outside they have actually managed to corner Arnold,
j- looks like the funs over wee football headed one
w- heh heh yeah what he said
and then Helga swoops down pulls out her slingshot and wallops Jack square on the forehead
h- actually the fun has just begun
a- good timing
h- of course it was I'm Helga Pataki
a- right
Then she pulls some of her judo moves on Wally, he runs like a baby,
h- here take this (she hands Arnold some rope to tie up Jack and chases after Wally.)
Meanwhile inside Gerald is having difficulty picking the lock,
g- oh come on!
after a couple of unrewarding tries he finally hears the click of the lock opening.
g- yes, finally!
He grabs the map and runs out to find Arnold and Helga just finishing tying and gagging Wally and Jack.
a- come on, let’s get out of here
g- just a second
Gerald bends down to tie his shoe and then puts the map in Helga’s pack without her noticing.
a- did you hear that
it is the distant rumble of a car coming.
g- ok let’s go
h- and hurry!
they turn and run back into the woods they keep running for a long time. Helga is the first to stop
h- guys wait!
a&g- (turn around) why?
h- why don’t we set some traps for them
g- good idea
a- ok
they took out a lot of the gadgets that Brigitte gave them and set them into traps. Then they begin to wait for the boss man and his thugs to come. Helga begins to climb a tree
a- what are you doing? we can see better from down here
h- i don’t think that’s such a good idea
a- and why not?
h- because in all the movies the people watch their traps work from down on the ground and then they get caught
g- this isn’t a movie Helga
h- hey I'm just telling you
a- whatever you say Helga
g- plus the bushes hide us from view
h- maybe you’re right
a- then you’re coming down?
h- heck no! i ain’t getting caught
a- ok then
the boss man and crew were following them and as soon as they got there:
12345- ugh!!!!ow!!!!oof!!!!watch out for that......oh i think i am going to be sick
they all fall for the traps except the boss man and his right hand man, Q.
a&g- *laughing*
The boss man heard them laughing,
bm- (whispers to Q) Q listen...do you hear that
Q- yeah the laughter of innocent children
bm- it’s coming from over there, quick follow me!
he and Q crept up behind Arnold and Gerald
a- this is perfect
g- I've always wanted to do something like this
a- i can’t believe they all fell for it
g- what a bunch of morons
up in the tree
Helga’s thoughts
they better not get too cocky, you never know when...hey wait there were seven guys that came after us! Where are the other two?! There are only five here!
she looks down and sees the boss man and Q about to grab Arnold and Gerald
Helga’s thought
NO! Arnold! Gerald! NO!
the boss man and Q grab them both.
a- hey....
g- what do you think you are.....
they bring them out and show them to the other guys.
bm- hey boys, look what we found!
a- hey, let go of us
g- you’re going to be in big trouble if you don’t!
2- oh yeah and what are you going to do about it? spit on us?
h- *gasp* oh no, what am i going to do
Q- should we take them back with us boss?
bm- yes, i believe we should
12345- *heh heh heh*
they took them both back with them.
h- I've got to follow them!
Helga follows a safe distance behind them for a while and then she reaches the building.
h- well there’s those Wally and Jack fellows, but I don’t see anyone else. well it looks like it’s time for action
She walks up to them and has this badass grin on her face.
w- Ah!!!! it’s the kicky girl.(hides his face with his hands) please don’t hurt me, i can’t cope with pain
j- yeah and don’t hurt me either
h- well then how about i make this quicker and less painful for all of us.
j&w- *nod
h- then give up right now and let me tie you up without a fight
they look at each other and nod
j- ok then
while she is tying them up they have a nice little chat.
j- so how's life treating you
h- oh i have had some good times and some bad but I'm not complaining
j- well that’s nice
h- how about you two
w- our lives have been very wonderful, we too can’t complain, this is only one of the very few bad times in our lives and may I say it isn’t all too horrible
j- i must agree
h- sounds like a very nice life you guys live
w- oh it is, it is very nice
she finishes tying their ropes
h- well it’s been a lot of fun talking to you but could you please tell me where they are keeping my friends
w- third window from the front its down on the ground and its hard to see because of the plants
h- thank you (she walks over to figure out where it is)
j-why did you tell her that dumb butt
w- because she asked nicely
j- hey girl!(Helga looks over)why you want to help them little boys out anyway
w- yeah most little girls would be afraid
h-maybe i ain't like “most little girls”
w- heck most adults would be scared stiff, i mean the only time they’re aren’t afraid is when the person they love has been taken hostage
j-that’s it! the girl is in love with one of them little boys.Hey girl!
h-(she had gone back to searching for the window, she turned around again and looked to them) what!?
j- which little boy are you in love with huh?
w-i know i know! the one with the tall hair (Helga rolls her eyes)
j-no no its the football headed one
w- nuh uh
j- yeah huh
w- nuh uh
j- yeah huh
w- nuh uh
j- yeah huh
while Wally and Jack argue, Helga locates the window. she pulls back the bushes
h- *gasp*, oh no
inside Arnold and Gerald were tied to 2 chairs, and Gerald was gagged and Arnold was all beaten up.(black eye, a cut on the corner of his lip, shirt ripped)
a- listen I've already told you, we must have dropped the map when we were running
bm- i think you are lying to me little boy, i do not tolerate lying, Q.
Q walks up to Arnold and slaps him and then punches him right in the face
h- Ar-Arnold, no!
something inside Helga rages. she grabs the keys to the door from Wally’s pockets.
w- hey where are you going?
h- to save my football head
j- told you she liked the football headed one
w- shut-up
Helga runs up to the door, unlocks it and then walks in
song- Get Off My Back
1- boss man it seems as though a third child was with them and is making her way toward your office, she isn’t armed but she is extremely violent. she has defeated all of our men, even the ninjas! prepare yourself
bm- thank-you, don’t worry i will deal with this little intruder of ours
he sends Q out just as Helga comes around the corner.
Q- I've been waiting for you
h- so i see,(she notices that around his neck is a key) hey what’s that around your neck
Q- good question, this is the key that will unlock that door(points to it). I bet you are wondering what’s behind that door, well let me tell you, behind that door is something that you want, behind that door is the reason you risked your life by coming in here, behind that door are your little friends and if you want this key, you’re going to have to get past me.
h- i guess i will, but let me tell you this first: i will not lose
Q- sure you won’t, well it looks like it’s just you and me girl
h- and so it is
they fight.its a tough and fierce battle.
Q- well girl it looks like we are equally strong, you can’t beat me and i can’t beat you
h- no, i can beat you because i am in love and love will always conquer
Q- that’s sweet, but untrue!(shoves Helga back and pins her to the wall)
h- actually it’s quite true(she lifts her legs up and kicks him right in the stomach, he flies back and wheezes a couple times and then faints)
Helga grabs the key from around his neck.
h- told you so
she runs to the door of the room that Arnold and Gerald are in and unlocks it.
h- ok here goes
she slowly turns the knob and tiptoes in. when she gets in she looks around to make sure that no one besides Arnold and Gerald are there, she then rushes over to Arnold and Gerald.
h- *gasp* (she recoils in horror. they are both unconscious and beaten.) what am i going to do, lets see if i have anything in here
she opens a pouch on her utility belt she pulls out a cloth.
h- perfect, but now i need some water
she spots a bowl of water on the floor,
h- ah ha!
she dips the cloth in it and starts wiping away the blood and dirt on their faces.
h- see doesn’t that feel much better, don’t know why i bother talking to them, they’re both unconscious, oh well maybe if i talk to them they will wake up faster
she doesn't even here him come in
bm- i see you’ve found your friends
h- (whips around and then begins screaming questions at him) why did you do this to them, we’re just kids. What do you want from us? what did we ever do to you?
bm- the map please
h- map? you mean the one that will lead us to Arnold’s parents? I dunno I thought they had it. Didn’t they tell you?
bm- no they said that it must have been lost when you were running from us
h- well there you go, that’s good for you because now no one will have any clue where to find them.
bm- no, but you three all know where my secret base is
h- i doubt they will remember after the thrashing you gave them(points to Arnold and Gerald)
bm- true. but what about you? you don't seem beat at all.
h- well then how about you and me one on one. If i win you have to let us all go.
bm- and if i win?....
h- you will let them go but....but you may eliminate me.
a voice calls out from the shadows
a- no Helga no you cant
Helga rushes over to him. he has one eye opened, the other is blackened a lot.
h- Arnold oh Arnold i am so sorry i didn't get here sooner, i tried but.....oh Arnold! You’re a mess
she gently wraps her arm around his neck and with the other one pulls out a pocket knife. She cuts his ropes, then gently pulls him off the chair into her arms. She hears a sound in the chair behind her. She reaches into her pack and pulls out a pillow. she lays Arnold’s head down on it.
h- hold on just one second while i get Gerald
then she rushes over to Gerald's chair and does the same thing.
g- you cant tell him to eliminate you
a- why would you do this, i mean for us
h- well i guess it’s because you guys are my friends, kind of and i refuse to let anything harm you. that’s why I came, to keep you guys safe because I knew you couldn’t do this on your own
a- well you’re our friend too so we wont let you put your life on the line
h- Arnold
a- Helga
h- Arnold
a- Helga(gives her the look)
h- ok fine, (turns to look at the boss man) if you win you wont harm any of us but you will train us to become part of your little group thing here
bm- agreed but if you ever try to escape we will be forced to eliminate you
h- (looks at Arnold and Gerald and then nods) agreed
bm- ok let’s begin
the boss man and Helga begin a vicious fight. in the end Helga wears the boss man out.
h- (panting) ha! i win, now you have to let us go
bm- i don't think so
h- what do you mean? i beat you fair and square! now....now let us go( Helga begins to go a little panicky)
bm- sorry but it doesn’t work that way. BOYS!(the bad guys enter) let us show our guests what we think is fair and square
the bad guys surround them. there is no hope left.
h- i can take you all on(taking big gulping breaths)
bm- i am sorry little girl but i don’t think that you can, look how worn out you are
h- I'm fine thank you(she heads towards them and then stops, as her legs give out from underneath her)
Arnold’s thought
Helga is too worn out, she can’t fight them all, all by herself
suddenly a huge light shines from behind the door. the bad guys cover their heads and back away screaming. as a motorcycle, with a big basket in the front, breaks down the door and rolls in. driving it are Jack and Wally. the bad guys are to stunned to move
j- hey girlie! need a lift?
h- yes! thank you guys!
w- just grab the football headed one and I’ll get the one with the tall hair!
h- ok
She grabs Arnold, and then Wally gets off the bike to grab Gerald. Arnold, Gerald and Helga sit in the big basket on the front of the bike.
j- hold on tight
they zoom away down the hall and out of the door as fast as they can. Helga looks back and sees the boss man and his henchmen staring at them with big eyes, she laughs.
a/n: So. A BILLION years ago I became utterly fixated on Hey Arnold! Today, I still love it way more than I should. I guess there's just something about the show that will never stop striking some chord within me. It's more than just loving Helga/Arnold now. Hey Arnold! has become a second home. It's a part of me.
I fell in love with Hey Arnold! in the seventh grade. When I was little more than a baby, really.
I wrote my very first fic then. Not just my first fanfic - my very first story that I had actually sat down and typed out all for myself. It's in script format. Has little to no capitalization. Spelling atrocities abound. Grammar fail. It was all set to the Spirit Soundtrack (HERE!), because even though I hated that movie, I managed to find an entirely different plotline in the Soundtrack. It's also supposed to be my own interpretation of what The Jungle Movie would have been like and I was CONVINCED that I had basically produced a flawless script and that probably Craig Bartlett was going to ask if he could use it when he actually made the movie, because it was JUST THAT GOOD.
It's been... about seven years since then. I've grown. I mean, I'm still immature and obsessed with a silly cartoon, but I'm okay with that. Also, I capitalize stuff now! Sometimes to the point where THAT'S ALL I DO.
But I think it's about time I shared that very first story. Despite all of it's terrible, awful flaws, it still manages to make me love it.
So if you would like to see my wee beginnings as a writer and as a girl who loves HA! click the link. If you're going to be stupid and try to point out the bad stuff (which is ALL OF IT) just back out now. I'm not posting this for you guys as much as I'm posting it for me. But if you think it's kind of adorable in a weirdly embarrassing and childish way then go ahead and tell me so! Because that's what it is! :3
Fandom/Universe: Hey Arnold!
Character(s): Helga, Arnold, Gerald
Rating: K+
Notes: Don't click until you read the note below!
MY MOVIE
the way i believe the second movie should be
song-here i am
- starts out in the neighborhood and then cuts to the park as the screen moves up a hill the wind parts the grass. Arnold steps into view. he looks around and then he goes down the hill to play baseball with his friends. They have a fun day: playing catch, jolly olly man, swimming. Day turns to night Arnold is laying on his bed he is wide awake, he reaches underneath his bed and pulls out his dads journal. He just sits there for a while, looking at it. then he pulls out a backpack from under his bed. he slings it over his shoulder and then heads out the fire escape. Gerald is at the bottom. he reaches Gerald, they look at each other and then turn to go. They walk until you can’t see them anymore, then the screen fades to black.
~scene begins again with Arnold and Gerald on their way to the airport~
g- come on Arnold we got to get to the airport! We are going to miss our flight to Africa. don’t worry i got all the gadgets we’ll need from Brigitte
a- I'm coming Gerald, oh and i have to make a stop before we get there
g- I thought you already went
a- not that kind of stop
g- oh, well then where?
a- at Helga’s
g- Helga’s?! why would we stop there?
a- to ask her to come with us
g- and we’re going to ask her this why?
a- because she was with us on our last adventure, she helped us a lot and i guess we owe it to her to invite her along with us on this one too
g- whatever you say Arnold
they reach Helga’s
a- her light isn’t on
g- she’s probably sleeping like any other normal person would be at this hour.
a- well then we’ll have to wake her up
g- 2 questions.How will we wake her and do you really want her to sick vengeance on us?
a- uh... first we’ll throw these stones at her window and I don’t think she’ll get mad, in fact i bet she’ll come with us.*under his breath he adds: well probably not but who knows*
g- ok fine, but if she does get angry it was all your idea
they throw stones at her window until she wakes up.
h- (opens her window) what in the name of Cripe’s sake is going on out here.(looks at them)Arnold! what the heck are you doing, football head? It’s one o’clock in the morning! Normal people are trying to sleep!
a- we wanted to ask you to come with us
h- (crosses her arms) with us to where, exactly, football head?
a- to Africa to help look for my parents
h- o ok(weird look on her face, a lost look) I'll come, i just have to get dressed and do a few things first
she turns and heads to her shrine of Arnold
h- i can’t believe he asked me to come along. maybe this is my chance to get him to like me like me. i feel bad about his parents though, what if we don’t find them? it’s going to be hard to find them, but i will help as much as I can and i will protect them from any danger. we will all come home together. I better get going, I have a lot to do.
she writes a note to Bob and Miriam:
mom and dad,
when u read this i will not be here, i cant tell u where i am going but don't worry i will be safe. i wont be alone. it wasn't anything u did it is just to help a friend i am sorry if you become upset but i got to go.please try and understand.
love Helga
p.s. I'll be back :)
h- hm...now what to bring...how about....no, no, no...well we might need some money...I’ve got $103.45...and if the police begin to look for us...then we should bring a few well chosen outfits...ah yes these will do nicely...oh yes and we may need a first aid kit...and a few other necessities...and we’re done!
packs all of her stuff and then climbs onto the tree outside of her window.
h- ouch oof!ow...
a- are you ok?
h- yeah I'm fine football head
they get to the airport
h- here take these(Helga hands them the costumes.)
a- what for?
h- now isn’t the time for questions just go change into them
g- i would like some kind of explanation
h- just do it tall hair boy
Gerald looks at Arnold, who nods
g- fine Helga, but i better not look like an idiot
They all go into the bathrooms and change,
in the bathroom with Helga, she pulls out her locket
h- This is it...your last chance to get Arnold to like you...you can’t be mean and you cannot lie...it is time to tell him the truth...I can do this...no i can’t...yes...no...yes...you have to or it’s all over but the crying...if you don’t then Arnold will like Lila forever and he won’t like you...last chance Helga old girl...last chance.......
Helga comes out first, she is wearing a long red dress with her hair pulled back in a bun, Arnold is wearing a tuxedo with a little bowler hat a beard and a mustache, Gerald is wearing a chauffeur outfit .
g- I look like an idiot. Why are we wearing these?
h- because when we are reported missing, the cops will be looking for three kids not three adults.
g- well why do i have to be the waiter?
h- you drive the limo, moron
g- oh....
h- I'm surrounded
a- um..what exactly are we supposed to be posing as
h- rich people you ding bats!
a- Helga if you want to come along then you have to try and be nice, ok?
h- fine I'll try football h- (Arnold looks at her)...I mean Arnold
a- thank you
h- now listen up we’re rich, well at least me and Arnold are because we’re married and Gerald you’re our chauffeur
g- how comes i don’t get to be rich
h- because i said so now let’s go!
they go up to get their tickets
(air = airport guy)
air- heh... nice outfits kids
h- what do you mean kids? We are rich bureaucrats!
air- heh...yeah and I’m Mary, Queen of Scots
h- grrr...just give me the tickets!
they get their tickets and board on the plane.
h- we made it, thanks to my brilliant costumes of course(she takes the seat behind Arnold and Gerald, then sits back and turns her head phones on)
g- oh man! i can’t believe I let you talk me into bringing Helga G. Pataki along, this is going to be a nightmare
a- oh come on Gerald she isn’t that bad and she is trying to be nice
g- she doesn’t know the meaning of the word nice
a-*sigh
Arnold looks out his window as his eyes begin to droop.Arnold falls asleep and when he does he dreams
song- I will always return
*a dream*
he sees himself flying all the way to Africa. He sees his parents he runs to his mom. They spend the day together: go swimming, fishing, they meet up with Arnold’s friends and play baseball. Arnold hits the ball out of the park. They won the game. His dad lifts him up on his shoulders they are waving and cheering, everything is perfect but then everything begins to tilt. someone is shaking him.
h- (Helga gently nudges Arnold to wake him up.) Arnold, Arnold...come on football head we’re almost there, wake up!
a-(“it’s to you I will always...always return”- he sees Helga’s face above him) huh? we are? oh ok i am up(yawns)
they land and leave the airport
h- now where do we go?
Arnold pulls out the journal and points out where they have to head first.
a- we go north from here
g- ok lets go!
h- not so fast, first we have to change into these(she hands them new costumes)
a&g- *groan
they head into bathrooms and change: all of them wearing the spy outfits from the one commercial on nick.
g- now can we go?
h- yup
a- to the jungle!
They grab their packs and head for the jungle.they begin their search.
song- you cant take me
they are in the jungle they begin to head out. they begin to run. Arnold stops and points. It begins to rain. They keep going. Helga points back in the direction from which they came signaling that she thinks that they should head back Arnold shakes his head and so they keep going. the sky clears they search high and they search low. Helga walks into a spiders web and the spider lands on her she screams and throws it onto Gerald he freaks out too. Arnold watches, he doesn’t realize that there is a big hairy rodent crawling up his leg, he feels it he grabs it out, sees what it is and then throws it in the air Helga screams and runs the other way she is closely followed by Arnold and Gerald
they come to a clearing
g- let’s make camp here
h&a- ok
h- (sarcastically) finally out of the jungle with all the bugs and giant rodents and into a clearing with bugs and giant rodents, oh well(shrugs because she sees Arnold looking at her) i guess we can’t have everything.
a- (whispers to Gerald) see she is trying
g- whatever you say Arnold
a- we better set up the tent
h- I’ll do it, I’m good with these things
g- we’ll all set it up
h- i don’t need help from you losers
a- (looks at her)
h- oops sorry it slipped out
a-*sighs*
h- hey i am trying as hard as i can
a- let’s all set up the tent together
h- ok fine
they set up the tent,
g- here take these, i bought them after our last two camping outings.(Gerald pulls out three small boxes from his pack)
a- what are they?
g- self inflating mattresses
a- Gerald have I ever told you that you were a genius
g- well of course i am
a- wait but why did you bring three? You didn’t know that I was going to invite Helga
g- oh, i have my ways
h- right
g- actually, i brought three because my mom bought two others, one for each child, i thought we might need an extra in case one got a hole in it
so Gerald took the mattresses out of their boxes and let them inflate
a- ok now that our sleeping area is arranged, I will attempt to start a fire, while you guys go and gather wood
h- aye aye skipper
g- shall we go my lady
h- yeah whatever
Gerald and Helga head off into the woods together.
h- i think i should have stayed back at the camp too
g- why? Arnold can handle himself
h- oh yeah, like he handled himself when you guys attempted to save the neighborhood
g- hey we did it didn’t we?
h- you would have been lost without my help
g- what help? You didn’t do anything really
h- i did more than you think Geraldo
g- fine whatever, look there’s a big pile of wood, why don’t we take some of that
h- fine, anything to get out of these woods
g- why do you always have to complain so much?
h- i don’t know, why don’t you just leave me alone?
g- fine
they gather up some wood, and head back to the clearing without saying a word to each other.
they stay up for a while talking and laughing.
a- hey guys its been fun but it’s getting late and we want to wake up as early as possible tomorrow so maybe we should go to sleep
g- good idea
h- good thinking foot- Arnold!
Gerald glances at Arnold.
It’s 12:30 am before they finally go to bed.
Helga and Gerald fall asleep right away, but Arnold stays awake for a long time and gazes at the stars. He gets out of his sleeping bag and goes to the fire, takes a seat on a log, picks up a stick and pokes at the fire with it.
when he got up he woke Helga, she gets up and takes a seat beside him.
A- sorry i woke you.
H- oh that’s all right.... Arnold are you ok?
A- yeah I'm fine i guess,uh... Helga can i ask you something?
H- i suppose
A- why did u come with Gerald and me, when i asked i was sure that you would say no.
H- i guess because....oh i dunno maybe i thought that you needed me here and besides its not a real adventure unless Helga G. Pataki is there
A- yeah sure
she punches his arm in a teasing way
H- what's that supposed to mean?
A- oh nothing.....Helga can i ask u something else?
H- what?
A- you know when you said that you loved me when we were on the roof, well i was just wondering...
H- Arnold ask me anything else but not that, I can’t
A- o ok then, well then I have one last question
H- what is it?
A- your being so nice now but you are so mean back at school, why do u act like that?
H- because i am mean
A- no your not, come on you can trust me, please tell me
H- listen Arnold i don't want to talk about it
A- why not?
H- because i just don't ok?!
A- o ok
silence for a couple seconds....
H- (whispers) it’s because of you
A-Me?!?! What did i do?
H- you were nice to me
A- oh yeah and if someone just happened to be nice to me, of course i would hate them!
H- please don't yell
A- well then make some sense Helga!
H- ok fine. let me think. oh yes now i remember....(flashback scene) it was the first day of preschool and of course Big Bob and Miriam were fussing over Olga. Well it was time to go to preschool so i tried to get their attention....It didn’t work, so i just left because no one would drive me.it was raining and a dog came up beside me and stole my lunch box. it was so cold and wet and when I got there I was almost in tears, when suddenly a little boy with a little hat and a funny shaped head opens an umbrella over me and then he says “i like your bow.”
A- you mean me
H- (nods) yeah you! and after you did that i-i-i k-kinda sorta....
A-what?
H- well i, you see i, i got this crush on you because you were the very first and actually only person to be nice to me, i thought you were amazing. i was so in love with you, you were perfect in my eyes. It was so wonderful....
A- this still doesn’t explain why you’re always so mean, Helga.
H- i-i know but it will in a minute....(continue flashback) that same day i spent all my snack time staring at you. after a bit i got a little hungry so i decided to eat one of my crackers, when i reached down to pick up a cracker, there were none there. I looked beside me, Harold had stolen them, and then he ate them right in front of me. I almost began to cry. but then you came up and said “want mine.” I nodded and you gave them to me. i suppose i looked at you in this gaga way because Harold did it too and then everyone started to laugh and make fun of me. I glanced over at you one last time and knew i wasn't strong enough to go on with kids making fun of me everyday. so i said my silent farewells and then pushed Harold off of the bench.
A- wow
H- yeah wow. I'm sorry Arnold but i just couldn’t do it nobody noticed me at home i didn’t want to be the outcast with other kids too. i couldn’t take it, I'm so sorry
and with that Helga throws her arms around Arnold's neck and cries and cries as the scene fades to black
the next day
they head out again. after a little, they notice smoke coming out of a little log cabin.
g- look at that cabin
a- i bet my parents are in there!
He starts to run to it but Gerald and Helga hold him back.
h- Arnold wait!
a- what’s wrong?
g- i don't like this place, Arnold
a- what are you talking about?
h- i don’t trust it
a- huh?
g- doesn’t it seem a little strange to you, i mean if your parents built this they must have had to contact someone
h- yeah and why would they build it in the first place? i mean we’re still pretty close to town. they could have just hiked back there and called your grandparents and told them what happened then they would’ve come back to see you
a- you guys are crazy, well i guess that some of that does make sense, but i still think that...
g- Arnold just listen to us
a- ok fine we’ll wait and see who comes out of there
h- thank you
they wait behind the bushes all day long(play cards, pace, ping-pong, journal, marbles, lie around and do nothing) and then they fall asleep.
its midnight
Gerald wakes up when he hears a door slam,
g- (looks up) huh? (rubs his eyes) what was that? it sounded like a door slamming shut
he shakes Arnold awake.
g- Arnold! Arnold! wake up i heard a door slam, they must be coming out
a- really? here hand me those binoculars and then wake Helga
g- here you go(hands Arnold the binoculars)
a- thanks now wake Helga
g- easier said then done
Gerald begins to shake Helga
g- Helga! Helga! wake up!
Helga has some difficulties
h- just 5 more minutes mom
g&a- HELGA!!!!
h- (sits up)huh? oh yeah I'm awake
a- we will be able to see better from those bushes
g- first let’s make sure that we have everything packed away
h- don’t worry, i was the last one to fall asleep o i made sure that we had everything
g- ok then let’s go
they get up, crawl to the bushes and look out. Arnold is looking for them with the binoculars
h- um... Arnold it’s kind of dark can you even see anything
a- can i even see any thing, can i even see anything, well actually i can’t
h&g- *sigh*
a- oh come on i was just having some fun with you
h- great
g- hey you guys look over here
they see some guys leaving the house they are all dressed in suits and holding baseball bats
bad guys:
1- you guys got your bats
2- yep Ethan will pay up tonight and if he doesn’t, the boss man says that we get to beat his brains out.
all of them- *heh heh heh*
3-why don't we just drop him off somewhere in the middle of the jungle, just like that married couple that came through 7 years ago.
from back in the underbrush
A- that's when my parents came here! do you think that they’re talking about them?
G&H- sh!!!!!
A- (whispers) oh, yeah, sorry
1- hey did u guys here something?
2- nope
4-you must be losing your mind
5- yeah
3- i thought i heard something too
4-you’ve lost it too
1- o ok whatever then, now what were we talking about oh yes, dropping them off all alone.... well we couldn’t do that because only the boss man can order that and that was only that one time
5- yeah! they shouldn’t have come snooping around here
4- they didn't mean to, i mean their plane crashed they just wanted help
5- yeah well wasn't it funny when the boss man told them he would be glad to escort them personally and then(breaks up with laughter) drops them off the plane with only a parachute to their name and (more laughter) only one parachute at that, and no one knows where he dropped them off because he was the only one on the plane besides them and the only way to find out is from the map, which is well hidden in the vault behind the duck painting in the hall.
all- (hysterical laughing)
back in the brush
Arnold’s hands are bunched up into fists and he looks furious, both Gerald and Helga look at each other and then him hoping he wont blow it and the bad guys wont find them.
all of a sudden a two darkened figures step out of the cabin, all of the laughter stops suddenly.
boss man- we’re going i left Jack and Wally in charge
1- you sure that’s a good idea boss man
bm- (evil look on face) why wouldn't it be?
1- (quieter this time) well they aren't exactly the bravest or strongest or fastest or smartest or even well abled to do anything
bm- we wont be gone longer than 30 minutes, they’ll be fine
1- ok boss man whatever you say i mean that’s why you’re the boss man
bm- glad you see it my way, now get in the car and go.
all- right away boss man
they get in, the boss man turns to the person who came out with him
bm- I can’t believed you hired these idiots Q. I really expected better of you
Q- sorry boss man
bm- you should be. Now get in the car
Q- of course
they both get in and then they leave. Arnold, Gerald and Helga come out from the bushes.
h- now what?
a- working on it.(rubs his temples and then after a few seconds...) ah ha, got it! Helga you’ve got your slingshot right?
h- yeah
a- and you know judo
h- yeah, so
a- good and Gerald you have the lock picks that Brigitte gave you right
g- yup
a- and i am the fastest, well second fastest runner in the class, stinky’s the fastest
h- could you give it to us in plain English
a- ok here’s the plan, i am the bait, I'll create a diversion and have them chase me, while they are chasing me Gerald you sneak in and find the vault and then you pick the lock, Helga you have to watch out for me and Gerald if it seems like one of us is in trouble you have to come and help. you know like pull some judo moves on them or something
g- ok
h- gotcha
a- and then when Gerald gets the map, Gerald will come out and we’ll all bind and gag these Wally and Jack fellows
h- i got the rope right here
they put the plan into action. Arnold runs out
a- hey look at me! bet you can’t catch me
w- hey Jack uh... shouldn’t we stop him
j- hey, who’s the boss when the boss man ain’t here
w- ain’t it Q
j- ok fine! who’s the boss when everybody except you and me are gone
w- uh...you?
j- that’s right, so as the boss i say: get that kid!
w- right away boss
and then Jack and Wally chase him, Arnold leads them away from the front door
back in the brush
h- ok Geraldo...GO!
Gerald darts inside the building, back outside they have actually managed to corner Arnold,
j- looks like the funs over wee football headed one
w- heh heh yeah what he said
and then Helga swoops down pulls out her slingshot and wallops Jack square on the forehead
h- actually the fun has just begun
a- good timing
h- of course it was I'm Helga Pataki
a- right
Then she pulls some of her judo moves on Wally, he runs like a baby,
h- here take this (she hands Arnold some rope to tie up Jack and chases after Wally.)
Meanwhile inside Gerald is having difficulty picking the lock,
g- oh come on!
after a couple of unrewarding tries he finally hears the click of the lock opening.
g- yes, finally!
He grabs the map and runs out to find Arnold and Helga just finishing tying and gagging Wally and Jack.
a- come on, let’s get out of here
g- just a second
Gerald bends down to tie his shoe and then puts the map in Helga’s pack without her noticing.
a- did you hear that
it is the distant rumble of a car coming.
g- ok let’s go
h- and hurry!
they turn and run back into the woods they keep running for a long time. Helga is the first to stop
h- guys wait!
a&g- (turn around) why?
h- why don’t we set some traps for them
g- good idea
a- ok
they took out a lot of the gadgets that Brigitte gave them and set them into traps. Then they begin to wait for the boss man and his thugs to come. Helga begins to climb a tree
a- what are you doing? we can see better from down here
h- i don’t think that’s such a good idea
a- and why not?
h- because in all the movies the people watch their traps work from down on the ground and then they get caught
g- this isn’t a movie Helga
h- hey I'm just telling you
a- whatever you say Helga
g- plus the bushes hide us from view
h- maybe you’re right
a- then you’re coming down?
h- heck no! i ain’t getting caught
a- ok then
the boss man and crew were following them and as soon as they got there:
12345- ugh!!!!ow!!!!oof!!!!watch out for that......oh i think i am going to be sick
they all fall for the traps except the boss man and his right hand man, Q.
a&g- *laughing*
The boss man heard them laughing,
bm- (whispers to Q) Q listen...do you hear that
Q- yeah the laughter of innocent children
bm- it’s coming from over there, quick follow me!
he and Q crept up behind Arnold and Gerald
a- this is perfect
g- I've always wanted to do something like this
a- i can’t believe they all fell for it
g- what a bunch of morons
up in the tree
Helga’s thoughts
they better not get too cocky, you never know when...hey wait there were seven guys that came after us! Where are the other two?! There are only five here!
she looks down and sees the boss man and Q about to grab Arnold and Gerald
Helga’s thought
NO! Arnold! Gerald! NO!
the boss man and Q grab them both.
a- hey....
g- what do you think you are.....
they bring them out and show them to the other guys.
bm- hey boys, look what we found!
a- hey, let go of us
g- you’re going to be in big trouble if you don’t!
2- oh yeah and what are you going to do about it? spit on us?
h- *gasp* oh no, what am i going to do
Q- should we take them back with us boss?
bm- yes, i believe we should
12345- *heh heh heh*
they took them both back with them.
h- I've got to follow them!
Helga follows a safe distance behind them for a while and then she reaches the building.
h- well there’s those Wally and Jack fellows, but I don’t see anyone else. well it looks like it’s time for action
She walks up to them and has this badass grin on her face.
w- Ah!!!! it’s the kicky girl.(hides his face with his hands) please don’t hurt me, i can’t cope with pain
j- yeah and don’t hurt me either
h- well then how about i make this quicker and less painful for all of us.
j&w- *nod
h- then give up right now and let me tie you up without a fight
they look at each other and nod
j- ok then
while she is tying them up they have a nice little chat.
j- so how's life treating you
h- oh i have had some good times and some bad but I'm not complaining
j- well that’s nice
h- how about you two
w- our lives have been very wonderful, we too can’t complain, this is only one of the very few bad times in our lives and may I say it isn’t all too horrible
j- i must agree
h- sounds like a very nice life you guys live
w- oh it is, it is very nice
she finishes tying their ropes
h- well it’s been a lot of fun talking to you but could you please tell me where they are keeping my friends
w- third window from the front its down on the ground and its hard to see because of the plants
h- thank you (she walks over to figure out where it is)
j-why did you tell her that dumb butt
w- because she asked nicely
j- hey girl!(Helga looks over)why you want to help them little boys out anyway
w- yeah most little girls would be afraid
h-maybe i ain't like “most little girls”
w- heck most adults would be scared stiff, i mean the only time they’re aren’t afraid is when the person they love has been taken hostage
j-that’s it! the girl is in love with one of them little boys.Hey girl!
h-(she had gone back to searching for the window, she turned around again and looked to them) what!?
j- which little boy are you in love with huh?
w-i know i know! the one with the tall hair (Helga rolls her eyes)
j-no no its the football headed one
w- nuh uh
j- yeah huh
w- nuh uh
j- yeah huh
w- nuh uh
j- yeah huh
while Wally and Jack argue, Helga locates the window. she pulls back the bushes
h- *gasp*, oh no
inside Arnold and Gerald were tied to 2 chairs, and Gerald was gagged and Arnold was all beaten up.(black eye, a cut on the corner of his lip, shirt ripped)
a- listen I've already told you, we must have dropped the map when we were running
bm- i think you are lying to me little boy, i do not tolerate lying, Q.
Q walks up to Arnold and slaps him and then punches him right in the face
h- Ar-Arnold, no!
something inside Helga rages. she grabs the keys to the door from Wally’s pockets.
w- hey where are you going?
h- to save my football head
j- told you she liked the football headed one
w- shut-up
Helga runs up to the door, unlocks it and then walks in
song- Get Off My Back
1- boss man it seems as though a third child was with them and is making her way toward your office, she isn’t armed but she is extremely violent. she has defeated all of our men, even the ninjas! prepare yourself
bm- thank-you, don’t worry i will deal with this little intruder of ours
he sends Q out just as Helga comes around the corner.
Q- I've been waiting for you
h- so i see,(she notices that around his neck is a key) hey what’s that around your neck
Q- good question, this is the key that will unlock that door(points to it). I bet you are wondering what’s behind that door, well let me tell you, behind that door is something that you want, behind that door is the reason you risked your life by coming in here, behind that door are your little friends and if you want this key, you’re going to have to get past me.
h- i guess i will, but let me tell you this first: i will not lose
Q- sure you won’t, well it looks like it’s just you and me girl
h- and so it is
they fight.its a tough and fierce battle.
Q- well girl it looks like we are equally strong, you can’t beat me and i can’t beat you
h- no, i can beat you because i am in love and love will always conquer
Q- that’s sweet, but untrue!(shoves Helga back and pins her to the wall)
h- actually it’s quite true(she lifts her legs up and kicks him right in the stomach, he flies back and wheezes a couple times and then faints)
Helga grabs the key from around his neck.
h- told you so
she runs to the door of the room that Arnold and Gerald are in and unlocks it.
h- ok here goes
she slowly turns the knob and tiptoes in. when she gets in she looks around to make sure that no one besides Arnold and Gerald are there, she then rushes over to Arnold and Gerald.
h- *gasp* (she recoils in horror. they are both unconscious and beaten.) what am i going to do, lets see if i have anything in here
she opens a pouch on her utility belt she pulls out a cloth.
h- perfect, but now i need some water
she spots a bowl of water on the floor,
h- ah ha!
she dips the cloth in it and starts wiping away the blood and dirt on their faces.
h- see doesn’t that feel much better, don’t know why i bother talking to them, they’re both unconscious, oh well maybe if i talk to them they will wake up faster
she doesn't even here him come in
bm- i see you’ve found your friends
h- (whips around and then begins screaming questions at him) why did you do this to them, we’re just kids. What do you want from us? what did we ever do to you?
bm- the map please
h- map? you mean the one that will lead us to Arnold’s parents? I dunno I thought they had it. Didn’t they tell you?
bm- no they said that it must have been lost when you were running from us
h- well there you go, that’s good for you because now no one will have any clue where to find them.
bm- no, but you three all know where my secret base is
h- i doubt they will remember after the thrashing you gave them(points to Arnold and Gerald)
bm- true. but what about you? you don't seem beat at all.
h- well then how about you and me one on one. If i win you have to let us all go.
bm- and if i win?....
h- you will let them go but....but you may eliminate me.
a voice calls out from the shadows
a- no Helga no you cant
Helga rushes over to him. he has one eye opened, the other is blackened a lot.
h- Arnold oh Arnold i am so sorry i didn't get here sooner, i tried but.....oh Arnold! You’re a mess
she gently wraps her arm around his neck and with the other one pulls out a pocket knife. She cuts his ropes, then gently pulls him off the chair into her arms. She hears a sound in the chair behind her. She reaches into her pack and pulls out a pillow. she lays Arnold’s head down on it.
h- hold on just one second while i get Gerald
then she rushes over to Gerald's chair and does the same thing.
g- you cant tell him to eliminate you
a- why would you do this, i mean for us
h- well i guess it’s because you guys are my friends, kind of and i refuse to let anything harm you. that’s why I came, to keep you guys safe because I knew you couldn’t do this on your own
a- well you’re our friend too so we wont let you put your life on the line
h- Arnold
a- Helga
h- Arnold
a- Helga(gives her the look)
h- ok fine, (turns to look at the boss man) if you win you wont harm any of us but you will train us to become part of your little group thing here
bm- agreed but if you ever try to escape we will be forced to eliminate you
h- (looks at Arnold and Gerald and then nods) agreed
bm- ok let’s begin
the boss man and Helga begin a vicious fight. in the end Helga wears the boss man out.
h- (panting) ha! i win, now you have to let us go
bm- i don't think so
h- what do you mean? i beat you fair and square! now....now let us go( Helga begins to go a little panicky)
bm- sorry but it doesn’t work that way. BOYS!(the bad guys enter) let us show our guests what we think is fair and square
the bad guys surround them. there is no hope left.
h- i can take you all on(taking big gulping breaths)
bm- i am sorry little girl but i don’t think that you can, look how worn out you are
h- I'm fine thank you(she heads towards them and then stops, as her legs give out from underneath her)
Arnold’s thought
Helga is too worn out, she can’t fight them all, all by herself
suddenly a huge light shines from behind the door. the bad guys cover their heads and back away screaming. as a motorcycle, with a big basket in the front, breaks down the door and rolls in. driving it are Jack and Wally. the bad guys are to stunned to move
j- hey girlie! need a lift?
h- yes! thank you guys!
w- just grab the football headed one and I’ll get the one with the tall hair!
h- ok
She grabs Arnold, and then Wally gets off the bike to grab Gerald. Arnold, Gerald and Helga sit in the big basket on the front of the bike.
j- hold on tight
they zoom away down the hall and out of the door as fast as they can. Helga looks back and sees the boss man and his henchmen staring at them with big eyes, she laughs.
a/n: So. A BILLION years ago I became utterly fixated on Hey Arnold! Today, I still love it way more than I should. I guess there's just something about the show that will never stop striking some chord within me. It's more than just loving Helga/Arnold now. Hey Arnold! has become a second home. It's a part of me.
I fell in love with Hey Arnold! in the seventh grade. When I was little more than a baby, really.
I wrote my very first fic then. Not just my first fanfic - my very first story that I had actually sat down and typed out all for myself. It's in script format. Has little to no capitalization. Spelling atrocities abound. Grammar fail. It was all set to the Spirit Soundtrack (HERE!), because even though I hated that movie, I managed to find an entirely different plotline in the Soundtrack. It's also supposed to be my own interpretation of what The Jungle Movie would have been like and I was CONVINCED that I had basically produced a flawless script and that probably Craig Bartlett was going to ask if he could use it when he actually made the movie, because it was JUST THAT GOOD.
It's been... about seven years since then. I've grown. I mean, I'm still immature and obsessed with a silly cartoon, but I'm okay with that. Also, I capitalize stuff now! Sometimes to the point where THAT'S ALL I DO.
But I think it's about time I shared that very first story. Despite all of it's terrible, awful flaws, it still manages to make me love it.
So if you would like to see my wee beginnings as a writer and as a girl who loves HA! click the link. If you're going to be stupid and try to point out the bad stuff (which is ALL OF IT) just back out now. I'm not posting this for you guys as much as I'm posting it for me. But if you think it's kind of adorable in a weirdly embarrassing and childish way then go ahead and tell me so! Because that's what it is! :3
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Date: 2009-07-13 04:29 am (UTC)I almost took out the bit about Helga giving Arnold and Gerald disguises, because it sort of offends me now. It seems... not right at all that Helga would put Gerald in a servant-type role. I do believe that little!me wasn't actually thinking about how that would come across and probably wasn't even considering race at all and didn't think it was offensive because little!me was focused on the fact that Helga was pushing to be married to Arnold and that's why Gerald ended up as a chauffeur. But it still makes me kind of itchy and embarrassed. :(
Why did that man let them buy plane tickets when he clearly realized that they weren't adults?
I like that I don't bother to explain their spy outfits. I just direct people to Nick's commercials. XD
Lol, Arnold gets Helga to spill her guts so easily in this. If only it were so easy!
Best villains ever AMIRITE? Boss man and his evil henchmen #'s 1-5. Plus Q. And Jack and Wally, because incompetent pseudo-gay men make every story AWESOME. Also, the map to Arnold's parents being behind a duck painting on the wall? Was TOTALLY a reference to my Clue Books. Hurray for childhood!
Helga is fucking awesome.
"Q walks up to Arnold and slaps him and then punches him right in the face"
I LOLed.
There's no explanation for Get Off My Back. From what I remember it was going to involve Helga punching lots of shit and being a badass. Helga is apparently a super hero in this story, because she basically takes out like 20 grown men all by herself throughout the course of a few hours. XD
Every time I reread this I get the feeling that this is actually an Arnold/Helga/Gerald story and I just never knew it...