Journal - "Holiday Love Meme"

[leskuh]

Man. I've been pretty MIA this semester. I mean. I'm still around, but I feel like it's been awhile since I've really talked to some of you guys. That sucks. I've been so wrapped up in my own shit as of late. School's been kind of killing me and IDK. Things have been dumb.

This week has been kind of the shittiest of all weeks. I'm stressed out even now just with finals and projects and all that good stuff. Me and my best friend kind of had simultaneous breakdowns over Facebook chat the other night. It was so lame. She was in the library crying like a baby and I was sitting in my desk with my hoodie pulled up so that my roomie wouldn't see my shameful baby tears.

I really don't have much room to complain. My best friend has so much on her plate and I don't know how the hell she's coping at all. The fact that she's still chugging away (and pulling off much better grades than me in a much harder field) is a testament to how legitimately badass she is and how much of a pansy slacker I am.

Still. We all have sad times.

Also, on Wednesday an internet acquaintance of mine committed suicide. We'd never really been that close (our personalities collided like crazy), but I was really rooting for her to get better and pull through her depression. She'd been in a really bad way for a couple of months and it was just absolutely heartbreaking to know that, in the end, she didn't get the help she truly needed. RIP Ramsey.

And so... IDK. All of this junk has been weighing on me and I've been feeling so heavy that tonight I just said 'fuck it' and made a thread at the Holiday Love Meme. I could use some love. If you guys have threads be sure to post them on your LJs so I can return the favor.

This year has been a rough one for a lot of people I know. But I have high hopes for 2011.

Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow.

Comments

[engelen.livejournal.com]

:(
*hugs*

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm also so so so grateful that you and your family are okay! I can't even imagine what I would have done if I'd come face-to-face with someone trying to rob my home.

<3

[obsessive0514.livejournal.com]

Oh my God. Ramsey? Oh no. :( My heart goes our to her family.

I was truly praying for her. For her to get the help she needed. That's awful.

*hugs*

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

I know. I mean, it wasn't out of the blue, obviously, but it was still just like... absolutely horrifying. I was probably one of the first people to find out and I was there waiting for news about what had all happened. It's just so completely heartbreaking.

I wanted so badly for her to be all right - to pull through the ache. I just hope she's found peace now.

*hugs back*

[luna301.livejournal.com]

Hey, sorry you've been having a bit of a shitty time with life lately. That's awful news about your internet friend. And during the Christmas season, too. *hugs*

The old offer to PM me if you ever need to talk or vent or whatever is still open. Feel better, okay? :)

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I'm still much better than I was and have been talking about a lot of these things with friends and family so I probably won't need to PM you, but I appreciate the offer and the extension of love so very much. Thank you xinfinity. <333333

[flyingpigs-live.livejournal.com]

omg i'm so sorry about everything! :( ♥

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the love. <3

I'm mostly okay. It's just been a pretty sucky year all-around and I am just like... so ready for break+a brand new year. I'm ready to leave 2010 behind me.

Here's to 2011 being AWESOME!

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

Aww, why'd you delete your thread? I was all excited to leave some love!

<33333

[flyingpigs-live.livejournal.com]

i dunno, i always feel awkward about those things. don't worry about it, i know you love me ;) ♥

[saori1f.livejournal.com]

omg i'm in shock,i don't know what could have been so bad that made her commit suicide but i know that i'm sorry for her death,we were never friends and we had our disagreements but she was a human being whom i had things in common,i'm really sad it ended up like this.

Wow,i just,wow. I hope sockstar1 isn't taking it too bad.

[elvenfrolover05.livejournal.com]

I didn't know her much either, (just knew the name was familiar) and reading her Twitter, I'm in tears. I had no clue she was in such a dark place in her life. She was way too young to leave this earth.

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

<3

I agree. She had so much life ahead of her and was such a creative, badass person. We butted heads a lot, but I still hate so much that she's gone. I'd rather argue with her every day for the rest of my life if it meant she'd be alive to do so. :(

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

I don't know very much about her offline life - only that it was kind of rough and that she'd been dealing with shit for a long time. She's made a few attempts on her life before this one, but luckily people managed to get to her in time before now. She's been on meds and going to therapy, but I think it must have just been all too overwhelming. It's absolutely heartbreaking. She was barely 18.

I'm sort of where you are. We were not on good terms for a very long time, though we reconciled a bit towards the end of things. I was really, truly rooting for her to get better (as were so many other people) and I hate that it ended this way.

I'm not sure how sockstar1 is doing, but I've definitely been thinking of him. I'm sure it's hard on him. They were so close.